there are days when i am paralyzed by the passage of time

today is one of those days. i seem to feel each moment that ekes by. each painful, redundant moment of a five-hour meeting seems like miles of my youth are eaten by bulldozers (thanks holland city council, you a-holes (that edit was for YOUR school's filter, laura.) )

i'm taken lately with the concept of "crudites." there's something so goddamned beautfiful about photographs of vegetables in their finest "prin temps" moments. the vegetables -perhaps the caterer has chosen cauliflower, radishes, green beans, tiny carrots with their tops - are packed into a rustic basket or cleverly assembled in a terra cotta flower pot. i spent nearly three hours of my life gazing at grainy photographs of collapsable tables at weddings or real estate conferences tremblimg under the weight of bounties like this as the cells in my body aged and boke down. i should have been training to climb mt. everest. c'est la vie.

my parents are coming into town to visit with their eldest child (moi) this saturday. i'm excited. we have a lot to catch up on, including:

1. what the city of grand rapids looks like in winter
2. what the city of holland looks like in winter
3. ditto saugatuck
4. why i haven't demanded that my employer "double the goddamn paycheck" after one year of employment at the XY sentinel (this is will be a chat with my dad)
5. why i bought my mother "a million little pieces" for christmas, when all it ended up being was a pack of lies (this, i'm actually really looking forward to - i'm not going to lie here, i feel like a dumba2s for quoting this dude's book not but two f$#& g@#%$ weeks ago)

does anyone in the g.r. area care to meet bob and chris? please leave me a comment. i so look forward to comments.

there are some major developments financially that have caused things to look up. i have some badass freelance work coming my way. rent, rent, bills, bills, rent. these are worries that i now hope are moments of the past. if someone were to observe me in my day to day activities lately, they might think, "well, look at her - whistling and smiling, she's just as carefree as she can be."

these ficticious, hyper-observant people are wrong, but i'm getting there.

and, happy birthday, wonderful fatty. three taps and all of that. you are fabulous.