walrus gentlemen like to lounge in the tub, as it is similar to their natural environment

it's true. i just learned this at juke's bar from my friend travers, who himself is a member of the prestigous walrus gentlemen's club. unfortunately, their flippers kept travers and his fellow gentleman walrus kevin from finding a proper monocle to view operatic events in the area. thankfully, the two gentlemen have access to hardware equipment and were able to grind down a pair of bifocals to suit their walrus gentle man needs.

i drank a lot of PBR tonight, ran into an old friend (a friend i knew before i moved to grand rapids, which was so wonderful). here's the hot new thing i want to have: a 1950s hairdo. please let me know if you can help me and you are in the tri-county or tri-state midwestern area. i don't know how to do anything with my hair but brush it.

i can't wait for the premier of campus ladies on oxygen tomorrow night. too bad i have to work. i don't know ANY mother f-ers who have tivo. what's up with that. isn't that, according to FCC chair michael powell, "god's invention"?

god help us.