today on a very special "hot bed reports"

whoa. i'm on the other side. i feel like i've gone through some sort of birth canal from my life and apartment in grand rapids and have emerged, sweaty, disoriented and annoyed with my brother, on the other side; my parents' house.

yes, that's right. i'm back on the island, you guys. it's weird, but lovely and nice to be home at such an unsettled and uncertain time. i haven't posted in a while (duh) because it's just been too painful to shove all these freaky emotions in y'alls faces, because i could hardly look at it all head on myself. but, here's a quick synapsis of what has occured of late:

starting last week wednesday, i began to haltingly pack up my awesome apartment in grand rapids, readying myself to leave an amazing group of people who i love deeply in a town that i also love deeply to ... well, i don't quite know yet. something about moving to new york. there have been panicky thoughts of mistakes and failures and the brakes have half-heartedly been applied then released on my plan to move to NYC. but i'm doing it. i'm doing it.

bridie had a party for me my last night in town, which was saturday. it was the most intense and fun time ever. lots of crying. i came close to drowing half of the heritage hill historic neighborhood with my tears. they just kept coming. i'm grieving. it sucks. but from the ashes, i shall rise! and i shall be wearing urban clothing and ironic sneakers while rising! and i shall find my place in this goddammed world!

i miss all of you already. i think you should all come with me. we can all find our places together. spirit has great ticket prices, and there has to be some sort of group discount we can take advantage of. i'll look for a large "space" and it will be a sweetass commune in the city.

in the meantime, take care of yourselves. i leave for new york tomorrow. updates to follow.