some things that need doing

Here, in no particular order, is a list of stuff I need to do. Thrilling, I know.

1. Clean my bathtub
2. Buy my mother a (very) belated birthday gift
3. Fix an important yet broken car part that is dragging in the street
4. Fit into a rather tizzight bridesmaid dress by next weekend
5. Stop eating (kidding, mom)
6. Find an apartment that digs Franny that cat
7. Send in the f#$%ing credit card payment damnit

I've been walking nearly every day with bridie. It's great - we get our exercise, we get caught up on day-to-day crap and we just talk. Talk and talk. It's probably the best thing I can do for myself right now, plus it's helping me sleep at night, I feel better and the aforementioned bridesmaid dress is looking better and better by the day. It's so wonderful to have a good friend here, one who is funny and wise and smart and awesome. It's been the best therapy ever. Thanks, Bridie!

Oh yes. And the bachelorette party. My friend amy asked me, "did you get picked up?" and I reliped "Well... it's funny you use that term, 'picked up,' because I was literally picked up. Off the ground. Against my will. There's actually a photograph."

Here's to going back into the fray.

something purchased at an auction by mistake

i've been worried and worked up anxious, to the point that i believe i made myself sick. today, i'm clammy and feverish and out of it. yesterday, barf. but i'm on the path to recovery. feeling better. work should be fun on monday. just wanted to holla - i'm still around. give me a shout.

this weekend is laura's bachelorette party in put-in-bay (fist pump of enthusiasm). good chance to be around people i love, but i need to always be alert and careful, as my father told me today on the phone:

"Krista. The last time I was in Put-In-Bay, there were several boater men of many ages who were there solely to..." he pauses, likely shooting my mother a dirty look for snickering. "Solely to.. (ahem) pick up young women. I just think you should know that.. I think you should know that you might be, uhm, it's possible you'll be approached by someone with inappropriate intentions." (my mother at this point is laughing openly in the background).

don't worry, dad, i've got a fever, but it's not for dirty sailor lovin'.

sassy is jane's mom or aunt or something along those lines

well, well. i'm ending the day at ol' work here, using the last free moments of computer time before i leave for the new holland brewery for a lecture on god and the workplace. odd discussion to be having in a bar setting, but this IS the new holland brewery after all. anways, it's a chance to catch up with some of my favorite people, and anyways, you just never know. maybe i'll find religion in a brewery.

i've had some interesting talks with friends over the past couple of days; it seems that i'm not the only person in the universe about to undergo some major life changes. besides the obvious life changes of several close friends that involve marriage or whether to purchase a new home or buy a goldfish, it seems the horizon is a little lost for quite a few of my friends. it's weirdly comforting in a way, like we can all hold hands and go into the great unknown together. i've always liked group projects. big apple everyone? let me know.

this is a lot of rambling - it reflects the way i've felt lately. each moment seems to bring a new emotion: confusion, excitement, sadness, anger, anxiety and once in a while, undistilled happiness. those are the good moments. they remind me that i can be a strong person who goes after what she wants. sometimes i lose sight of that, but change brings introspection, and that's usually a good thing for me. something that scares me, however, is my desire for change is part of my character: i'll find something, be happy, something sad or bad will happen, and i'll leave. i need to really assess my reasons for wanting to get out. leaving to prove a point is not good - but something in me really wants to try my hand at big things. or big citiies anyway.

my dad let me see some of his college sculptural work this weekend. i did not know he had ever sculpted - he even had a work of my aunt sitting in a chair with her favorite sweater. strange when you discover something so cool about a parent. how i stared.

apologies for this boring post.

and now for something completely different

I had a dream that I knew my own death was imminent, although,
rather than being frightened, I had an uneasy feeling of coming change,
like a move cross-country,
or perhaps my nervousness could be better be likened to an international leap
to a place where the customs and languages are completely unknown.
It seemed a boyfriend had arranged for me a stay in a sort of "living dead" community
- I recall a shiny brochure and everything -
and once my death came, like a package arriving, I felt sad,
a little homesick and ashamed of my body's inevitable decay.
Later, I remember my mother tapping on the glass and waving through a window,
and my sadness that I couldn't enjoy the sunshine that winked off her sunglasses.
I remember the boyfriend coming inside to visit,
both of us embarrassed and horrified at the flesh falling off of my back.
And in my sleep, blushing and fitful, my fists clenched tightly before I woke,
the realization of mortality retreating as quickly as it appeared.

that's why life is awesome

i'm just your lovable local hometown reporter who has a wee bit of a hangover and is all over the west ottawa high school graduation looking for one mr. juan hernandez. where the hell WERE YOU, juan/juan's family?! now the story is a little f'ed, but that's no one's fault but your own.

moving on. after a short-lived belief that i had been sent home at a decent hour from work on saturday, i stopped in grandville for a juicy burger at amy and scott's with mel and reuben and emmett and katie, who had a preoccupation with "cute buns." jack, being a baby and all, was in bed. shortly after i finished a tasty margarita and shoved back from the dinner table, i took a quick look at my cell phone oh OH CRAP work called. it turns out a subway in holland got jacked at gunpoint, and guess who had to come in to write the story. quit holding your breath, it was me.

don't worry though, i was still able to chiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllll after i left for reals, and knocked down a couple of red stripes while enjoying a campfire party later that evening. that's why life is awesome, and that's why they pay me the big bucks. snap.

i'm sleeping well, how about you?

maybe just stay away for a while. i think i need some serious rest.

what i should have titled this post is "pour arthur's: a study in geriactric dating, passionolitans and stagecoach decor." thanks to a wonderful group of friends, i was thrust (somewhat forcefully thank you very much) into this swinging scene, where i enjoyed several mixed drinks before dancing to a song about money and hoes with a 80-year-old gentleman and his 70-year-old FRIEND who joined us on the dance floor later. at some point i was also doing the hustle/texas slide with a young woman so tatted up i didn't know where one tattoo ended and another began. i showed off the "dust the shoes" move and was going to take tara up on a $20 bet to do it on the dance floor when we were hustled out of the bar because of a (harmless) dude who just wanted someone to eat mcdonalds with him for crying out loud. i call the night a wild success and will be back at this establishment regularly i'm sure. do i want to admit all of this on the internet? sure, why the hell not.

it's looking like it's going to be a fun week. laura's coming for a visit on monday, and maybe swinging through town on thursday and we're going to detroit for a tigers game with adrianne. a visitor in town next week to say hi - should be interesting. yes. yes. yes. i'm going camping in a couple of weekends, put-in-bay, sharbot lake, new york. sweet. good summer stuff, you know?

it was a good week too: founders, olivia, peter, kevin, san chez, nate and founders, dog sophie and some wine, a deck with sunshine, a walk around the metro park. things are DEFINITELY looking up.

handle me with care

well, it was a good weekend that ended on a sour note. but you can't go back on the good times that have already happened, so let's focus on those, right?

i feel a slight shift in ye olde trade winds, but i still haven't figured out which trade has the best wind to offer. let's see how far i can keep up this analogy. i will SET SAIL toward a new career and will try not to get lost on the OCEANS OF LIFE or become discouraged by the CHANGE OF COURSE i seem to be taking. i'm feeling KNOT-TY or NAUTI (NAUTI VICKI is actually the name of my parents' neighbors' boat ).

let's try this:
i'm tired and discouraged and sad, but it's cool. there are things to be excited about, like good friends and summertime and the fact that i'm actually not as old as i feel today. i want to sit under my desk and plug my ears so that i don't have to listen to people speak. at. all. i want to sit on top of a building like i'm in a commercial for a product that is so great it makes you go to the roof to reflect on how wonderful life is now that you've discovered said product. i want to cry because i envision poignant moments that always look like commercial breaks.
i feel bereft.

i did help amy clean out a section 8 housing apartment that once housed a tenant and her three young children, who were evicted when this woman did not pay her rent for three months. because she was evicted and has the papers to show it, she'll be ok. the state will give her the down payment for a new apartment. but it was surreal and sad to clean this apartment, to understand the way some people live without any apparent stability. it's possible she'll move to a new place with these young children, pay the rent for three months and then stop again, just to be evicted, and find a new place. where is the security in a life like this? why do i find this so abhorrent? i'm so sad that i couldn't understand it. i just can't understand how you can have a huge flat screen television but no stable homebase for your children to feel loved and safe. i'm angry at her, i'm angry at myself because i know it's not that simple.

anyway. welcome to a new workweek.